When you are pregnant with your second do you think “How will I ever love this baby as much as I love my first?” Do you wonder “Will my firstborn be sad, or mad upon his or her baby sibling’s arrival?” Or how about “How will I ever handle TWO (or three??) children at the same time?”
Don’t worry!!! You are NOT alone. Almost all “second” time moms have these thoughts, and feelings. And it IS an adjustment, but The Baby Mavens can help you with that too, of course. 🙂
We OFTEN times are hired by the pregnant mom of a two year old who isn’t quite sure what she needs help with when her second child arrives, but she is certain she will need help of some sort! And watching your firstborn become a big brother, or big sister is often times an experience you don’t want to miss! Wait until the very first time your older “baby” shares his most priced toy with HIS “baby”, your heart will just melt.
Sometimes the evening is a more challenging time of day for moms juggling a new baby and a toddler, or older child. There is dinner to be made, and sometimes homework to be done, and well- that baby probably wants to eat right smack dab in the middle of it all! Having a Maven there to help could look a little like this:
It’s 4pm, I arrive to a screaming toddler (he wanted the orange cup for a snack, not the red one), a crying baby in mom’s arms, and mom looking like she is on the verge too. I bend down to my buddy’s level and in a quiet voice remind him to just use his words and ask for the orange cup, he snuffles a little and says “pwease I have owange cup?” I quickly trade the offended cup out, and make a quick bottle for the baby. Then I grab said crying infant from mom, and ask “How about you have a break for a few? Can I make you a cup of tea?” She replies: “I just want a shower.” So I send Mom off to the bathroom, and shuffle the toddler into the family room with me and the baby. I settle the baby in for the bottle, and manage to read the toddler a few stories while we cuddle on the couch. The baby falls asleep, so I put her down in the nearby Pack n’ Play, and get some crayons and coloring books out for my little friend.
While he is coloring quietly, I sneak over to the kitchen and quickly throw the dishes in the sink in the dishwasher and wash the bottle. I notice there is a casserole on the counter, with directions from a friend. So I turn on the oven, and make Mom a cup of tea. When she emerges from the shower, she notices that things are a little cleaner and a little quieter so I encourage her to have a rest, which of course she graciously accepts! I peek in on the baby and her big brother, baby is sound asleep and brother is still quietly coloring away. So I sit next to him on the couch and fold a basket of laundry that was left there. I put the casserole in the oven, and get some plates and silverware out for the toddler. I know they will feed him first but that mom will wait for dad to come home to eat with him.
Just as I am sitting Big Brother down for dinner, the baby starts to make some noise and Mom comes out. She sits and nurses the baby, and we catch up for a few minutes. Then she passes the baby to me and she sits with her oldest while he eats. I take the baby over to the sink for a quick bath, and get her all snuggled up in her jammies. Mom then takes her big boy in the other room for a bath. I pop the baby in the Moby that I brought, and clean up from dinner, putting two plates aside to heat up when Dad comes home. I then take a peak at the hampers in the baby’s room, and in her brother’s, and quickly throw any dirty laundry in the washing machine. Mom and Big Brother come out of the bathroom, and head to his room for his books and bed. I bend down so that he can give his baby sister a kiss on the top of her head, and he gives me a quick hug too! (How sweet?!?!)
Mom comes out a little while later, and finds the baby swaddled in her bassinet. Dinner is just about ready, and she has a few more minutes to relax before Dad comes in. I tell her “Put your feet up and throw on that show you have been watching on Netflix! Have a great night, and see you on Thursday!”
When I leave a shift feeling like Mom has gotten to have a little break, and her babies were well cared for I totally feel a little like I should be wearing a cape! 🙂 Just call us Super Doulas!