How Can We Help You? (Part 3 of 4)

Have you ever been so tired you couldn’t stand up long enough to shower?  Too tired to cook dinner?  So exhausted you fall asleep standing up while waiting for the Nespresso to brew?

If you’re a new parent, the answer is a resounding “YES!” Now for my next question – would you like to get some sleep?  Even one full 8-hour night?  I’m sure you’re saying “YES!” again!  Well, help is on the way.überforderung

The Baby Mavens offer overnight care.  Yes, that’s right, we will care for your newborn(s) overnight while you sleep.  ALL. Night. Long.  Maybe you already knew that, but you weren’t sure what an overnight shift might look like.  Here’s an example, but remember every family is different, so your needs may be very different!

I arrive at 10 pm to find mom and dad semi-comatose on the couch with their 3-week-old baby between them.  He’s asleep for now, but due to eat soon.  A quick check in with the parents and I learn that things are mostly going well but that mom’s PPD is causing her extreme anxiety.  She, along with her physician, have decided that breastfeeding is causing her far too much stress, so she is no longer nursing. Both parents seem relieved with this decision. She is going to continue pumping as often as she feels up to it, but at this point, we will be using up the freezer stash and transitioning to formula.  Mom happily reports that she is going to bed and will see me in the morning. Both parents retire for the night.

I move baby into the bassinet and tackle the dishes in the kitchen.  After the sink is clean and the dishwasher is running, I prepare a bottle of Expressed Breast Milk for the baby who is now awake and ready to eat.  He hungrily downs all 3 ounces and of course needs a diaper change afterwards.  Then, I re-swaddle him and settle him back into the bassinet.  With a little bit of shushing and swaying he falls back to sleep.

I gather his laundry from the nursery and start a load of his clothes.  There are towels in the dryer which I fold and put in the linen closet.  Now I settle in on the couch next to the sleeping baby.  I doze off as I listen to his sweet little baby sounds. At about 2 am he awakens me looking for his next meal.  I quickly get a bottle prepared and feed him. This time he’s so sleepy it takes a little prodding to get him to take more than an ounce; he keeps falling back asleep. Once he’s all settled back into bed, I go downstairs and move the laundry to the dryer.  Now I rest some more myself.

4:30 am and baby is stirring, but not really awake yet.  I stick the bag of breastmilk in a cup of warm water and run down and grab the laundry so I can fold it after he has his bottle.  He wakes up and has his bottle and another diaper change.  He’s bright-eyed and wide awake.  “No, my little friend, it’s not wake-up time yet!”  It takes a bit of shushing and swaying to get him back to sleep.  I finish folding the laundry and quickly put it away.  The dishwasher is done, so I put the dishes away as silently as I am able, so as to not disturb the parents or the baby. All bottles are washed, the Diaper Genie is emptied, and I am able to close my eyes once again…

5:50 – my silent alarm goes off and I wake up, careful not to wake the baby.  I fold my blanket to the back of the couch and fluff the pillows the way they go.  I run into the powder room and brush my teeth and hair before greeting the parents for the day. I meet Mom in the kitchen at 6:00.  She’s feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day!

So, I ask you again, how can we help you? #TheBabyMavensDoThat

 

*Lauren

 

 

 

How Can We Help You? (Part 2 of 4)

l_101593473

When we meet soon to be moms and dads, some are sure they will need LOTS of our help and some aren’t really sure they will need our help at all. But they ALL want to know, what “it usually looks like”. But our shifts can be so very different, even for the same family, that we have found that there is no usual, no typical, postpartum shift. Our support looks exactly like how YOU need it to be, during that one moment in time.

A mom I had worked with for months was going back to work. She was anxious, and nervous, and also somewhat relieved to return to the work that she loved and was passionate about. We talked about it for a few weeks before,  I helped her get ready to leave her baby in someone else’s very capable hands for the first time ever. That someone else’s hands happened to be Dad. Dad was staying home for that first week that Mom returned to work. Their plan was that this would help Mom be able to ease into leaving her baby after spending all of those long days and weeks with her.

But two weeks before her return, Mom was very nervous. Would Dad know where everything was? Would he know just how Mom swaddled her before a nap? Would he be able to soothe her when she was crying? And so she asked me to come help Dad on that first day. (And truth be told, Dad did great! He didn’t really need my help.)

That day, Dad got to see how I had supported his wife (and Baby!) for all of those times he had been at work. We chatted about what was going on with the baby, and he asked a lot of questions. Then, he got to take a nice long shower while I watched the baby. He returned a few work emails while I washed the bottles. He mowed the lawn while I folded a basket of laundry. And then, he got to sit and watch HIS favorite show, while I gave the baby a bottle. We sent Mom some pictures of the baby, and she wrote back: “I’m missing my baby today, but I am kind of glad to be back to work! It helped me so much to know that you were there to help Dad, and I was able to concentrate on getting back into my role here. So thank you so very much!”

I loved how I got to help and support this family in so many different ways!

*laurie

How Can We Help You? (Part 1 of 4)

Parents often ask us what a typical shift looks like, or how specifically we can help them during their 4th trimester.  We can’t really answer this question, because every family is unique, and every day in every family is different.  Today I would like to share with you a recent “Typical shift” which I had. Watch for further posts in the series, too. Maybe one of these makes sense for you or your family? Maybe you envision something entirely different? How can we help you?

SHIFT A:

Daytime support for  first-time new mom with a 10-day old baby girl.  

9:00 am – Arrive and “check in”, asking mom how she is feeling after her C-Section, and how baby is doing.  Find that mom is healing fairly well and that mom and baby seem to have established a pretty good nursing relationship. Mom is both anxious and tired, but not overly so. I ask mom how I can best support her over the next 4 hours. “I am not sure. How does this work? I guess do whatever you think needs to get done. I don’t usually get off the couch because she nurses a lot.”

9:30 – Mom and baby are settled on the couch, nursing and watching the Today Show. I make mom a cup of tea, then start washing some of the adorable outfits baby received for her Naming Ceremony over the weekend. I sit with mom while the laundry is going and we discuss some of her anxieties.  Baby has not yet had a bath, so perhaps I will be able to help with that before the shift is over.

10:00 – “Do you have a dinner plan?” I ask, “Maybe I can get something started for you?” Mom says ok, maybe I can make some type of soup on this dreary winter day. After rummaging around the fridge and pantry, I declare that it’s a Vegetable Barley Kind of Day! Mom thinks that’s a great idea and texts her wife to please bring some some crusty sourdough bread and a salad, which will go perfectly with the soup at dinnertime.

11:00 – Baby is nursing like a champ. Again. I get mom another cup of tea and we talk about baby wearing.  Mom has used the Moby successfully but is hesitant to try the Ergo.  Baby is under 8 pounds so she would need to use the Infant Insert.  We will try that the next time I come.

12:00 – By  now the laundry is done and folded and the soup is simmering away in the Crock Pot.  I make mom a turkey sandwich and cut up some melon for her.  I offer to hold the baby so she can eat and mom happily agrees. (YAY! I get some baby snuggles!) 

12:30 – Mom decides that her wife would be disappointed to miss out on the first bath, so we postpone that.  A better use of my time is for me to keep snuggling the wee one while mom gets a nice hot shower for herself.

1:00 – Mom is all showered, the kitchen is tidied up, baby’s laundry is put away in the nursery.  I hand mom her water bottle & a freshly diapered girl who is ready to nurse. I head out the door, feeling satisfied that the rest of the day should go smoothly for mom.

So there you have it – 4 hours of a typical or maybe not-so-typical shift of a postpartum doula. How can we help you?

*Lauren

I bet you are EXHAUSTED!

When you start announcing your pregnancy, and your belly starts growing people will for sure start to comment “get some sleep now while you can!”, and “you won’t sleep again for 18 years!”. Helpful, right? None of those comments will begin to prepare you for the sleep deprived, shell shocked, zombie-like state you may be in during those first weeks and months after giving birth. As if putting your body through the trauma of giving birth, and adjusting to the hormones wasn’t bad enough. Now you are lucky to get an hour or two of sleep at a time. There is not enough coffee in the world to help you now. (Not to mention the advice that people will give you about drinking coffee if you are breastfeeding!)

Tired young couple yawning in bed

Take a deep breath new Moms and Dads! There is help, and relief out there!

The Baby Mavens offer OVERNIGHT newborn, infant, and baby help. Your Maven will come to your home at night, usually a little before you are hoping to “go to bed” for the night. She will bring your precious new baby into a guest room, or even the living room, and get this- SHE will get up with baby when he wakes to be fed. If Mom is breastfeeding, she will come to your room and gently wake you. Mom feeds her baby, gives him a kiss goodnight, and goes BACK TO BED. Your Maven will burp, change, swaddle, and get baby back to sleep. And if your darling baby is bottle fed, and you WANT to sleep, that’s what you do. Just keep sleeping. THROUGH the night. The WHOLE night.
Imagine waking up the next morning, feeling refreshed, and ready to take on the day. Haven’t you thought, just once- “If only I could get just ONE night of sleep!” Well, you can! Call The Baby Mavens today. We even offer bundles and packages so that you get a discount by booking a few nights together.
When you are having a tough day, you can say to yourself: “My Baby Maven is coming tonight! I can get through this, I get to sleep tonight!”

Just what does a Postpartum Doula do anyway?

Whenever I tell someone I am a postpartum doula, I get a variety of reactions.  Some people think I am a birth doula and say something like “Oh, I could never be in the delivery room, I am not good with blood”.  Others express their concerns about “Having someone take over” or “Telling me how to parent”.  And others say something along the lines of “*Sigh, wouldn’t that be nice? But this isn’t my first baby, so I don’t need the extra education”.

So, today, I want to tell you what a Postpartum Doula does and DOES NOT do.

First and foremost, we are not all earth-loving, baby-wearing, holistic, breastfeeding-til-schoolage, essential oil pushing, co-sleeping, delay-vaccinating, stay-at-home mothers!  If you are all of those things, we support your choices.  Likewise if you are a formula-feeding, use a crib from day one, circumcising, high-powered career mother who is going back to work in 4 weeks – we support all of those choices as well. You may even be some of the former and some of the latter… Guess what?  That’s okay too!

We are not there to push our ideals on you IN ANY WAY!  

A postpartum doula is there to support you as a new parent, to help you find what works best for you and your family!

     We can help you recognize what matters most to you, and help you achieve that.  We want you to be confident and comfortable in your new role as parents. We will never take over or tell you how things ‘should’ be. We can answer questions for you and offer evidence-based support and guidance to help you make important decisions about your personal parenting style.

A postpartum doula will not prevent you from bonding with  you baby!

     In fact, we are there to facilitate that bonding experience.  We will take care of some of the household chores so you can snuggle and cuddle your baby all you want.  You won’t have to worry about the laundry, or feeding the dog, or what is for dinner.  Having an extra sent of hands around so you can focus on your newborn as well as your own healing can be an invaluable experience.

Postpartum doulas are not just for first-time moms!

     Maybe you don’t need a lesson on how to give baby’s first bath, you can do a mean swaddle, and maybe you remember all the steps to installing the carseat, (*disclaimer – being a postpartum doula does not mean you are educated on carseat safely, but The Baby Mavens has a CPST on staff!) but every baby is different, and each new birth is a new experience for the family.  We can even give you some tips on how to help big brother or big sister adjust to the new baby.

Postpartum doulas are for dads, and adoptive parents too!

     Yes, a doula’s main focus is to “Mother the Mother” – to help her adjust to her role physically and emotionally.  But fathers benefit greatly from a little education, support and guidance.  He has a new place in the household also.  Not only is he a new father, but he is the husband of a new mother. Maybe he’s not sure what the signs of postpartum depression are, or maybe he just needs a few pointers on soothing the new baby – The Baby Mavens are here to help. Perhaps you’ve become a new parent in a non-traditional way, via surrogacy or adoption.  Well, you are still adjusting to becoming a parent, and we can help make that adjustment as smooth as possible.

Remember, The Baby Mavens want to help your family in whatever way makes sense for you.

Looking forward to working with your family one day,

Lauren